Brilliant ideas regarding famous pervs

I just had an idea. Why don't we let Roman Polanski serve time in Poland? Snip, snip, and all the underaged models in the world would be safe forever...

Then I had another one. Why don't we fake a minor "sexual predator" charge against Silvio Berlusconi - in Poland? He would probably do a much better job if he stopped running in whatever direction his Little Silvio was pointing. No one could possibly disagree with that. At least not his ex wife.

Germans are the sexgods of the world! (er no, not really...)

Anyone who read the Femail part of the Daily Mail today cannot possibly have missed the Best vs. Worst Lovers In The World poll.

The men of Germany were crowned the worst, but who's surprised? Just imagine - "Jaaaa, Ich komme gern!" Any woman would loose her erection...
Just as I was giggling about this a bomb was dropped on my scandinavian heart. Swedish men are third worst sexbeasts in the world. According to the poll, my fellow countrymen are too quick. I hope that this will not affect how the world sees Swedish women because that would be devastating for Swedish tourism.
The funny upside?
English men are second worst...

And when it comes to the top ones: Spain? Brazil? ITALY? (does the image of Silvio Berlusconi pop in to anyone elses head? Just ewww...) The biggest laughing matter is France at number four. "Voulez-vous ma baguette?" - I don't think so. I'd rather stick with my english ones (preferably Danny Jones) if that's ok.

Congratulations though, to my dear friend Adam. South Africans are appearently the 6th best lovers in the world. Or more appropriately: congrats to my Josie, his girlfriend...

New favourite Simpsons quote

Alberto: "First we make love, then we decide if it was a good idea or not. That's the European way."

Do you want to date a bartender?

I used to be a bartender not too long ago. After that I worked as a cocktail waitress whilst training to be an even better bar girl. That however did not happen when university all of a sudden showed up at the horizon and I am still running around with trays full of cocktails five days a week witnessing what goes on behind and in front of the bar.

The bartending business is stressful, hard, and just as crazy as it seems. I have loved almost every minute of it and even the toughest moments have their very own charm. One of the benefits of working behind and around the stick is those nights when you’ve got your arms covered in phone numbers and your pockets contain napkins with questionable suggestions of after work activities.

I mean, just imagine: you are a guy sitting in a bar (50 percent of the worlds population does not have to imagine, but you know where I am getting at). You’ve got your beer goggles on and that girl behind the bar shaking whatever she is shaking is doing a pretty good job. She is getting more and more attractive by the drink and as the night is starting to come to an end you swagger over there, confident as I ever. You are taking her home tonight, I mean who would say no to you, right?

But I advice you to hold on for just a minute soldier - do you have even the slightest idea of what you’re getting yourself in to?

Wine us, dine us, now that’s all fine, but if you want to belong to a girl in the hospitality industry there are some things that you have to take into account.

The following points are, if not crucial, of highest importance if you ever wish to date a bartender (or even a cocktailmad waitress like me):

1. You have to enjoy being woken up at two o’clock in the morning by a sweaty creature in an adrenaline rush that wants to tell you absolutely everything that has happened at work for the past ten hours.

2. Find it charming that no matter where you take her out for a drink she will have something to say and/or find something to complain about when it comes to service/the menu/range of spirits on the back bar etc.

3. Like the fact that your entire week is going to be planned around her two days off per week. Most likely neither of these will be on the weekend. If you are lucky one of them is a Thursday.

4. Have no sense of smell alternatively have a weird foot fetish and like them smelly. Our feet are enclosed in the same boots all day and it usually takes less than ten minutes before they are soaking wet. My garbage room smells nicer than our feet after a long shift.

5. All of our colleagues plus almost our entire friendship circle will look at you like you are an imbecile if you don’t know the difference between blanco, reposado and anjeo tequila or what cachaca is distilled from.

Still want to take the girl with the shaker home? Didn’t think so.

A very important message

Scandilous Life says:

Don't be a fool, wrap your tool.

H&M - Fashion against AIDS Collection

A delicious topic in the the middle of dinner

Tonight I learned about "musting". It all comes down to a pair of lips and a... well an arsehole. Put those two together and then suck. Suck until it gets "musty". Yes, it is just as disgusting as it sounds. However according to a college of my best friends': "It doesn't taste as much of ass as you would expect!"
Musting anyone?



It's been a long time since I laughed so much and we talked about everything and nothing until early morning.

If you wanna get laid - don't shower.

According to The Independent (eternally my source of information) there is nothing more attractive to a woman than a sweaty man (read article here).

This derives from a substance created by TAMTARARAM - testosterone! Androstadienone, as it is called, hightens a mans attractiveness to a woman.

So now we know why sweaty bartenders are so sexy.

Mmmmm... Bartenders...