It's back and it's worse than ever!

The Scandilous Life will finally be back on your screens in a near future
Do you want to read all about my schizo life, split 50/50 between Jäger-guzzling, cocktail serving, high-heel swaying hospitality industry madness in London and loud-mouthed, cocky(to say the least), geeked out journalism in Medway where I edit a future award-winning student online newspaper and magazine? Of course you do!

And you can find it right here

--> http://www.themedwire.co.uk/categories/blogs/scandilouslife/ <--

There is only one place to graduate

Scanning my computer for the picture in the last post made all the graduation memories come back. The swedish graduation parties are unbelievable - at least in Stockholm and at Rudbecks Gymnasium(yes, still funny). From the beginning of april all the way to graduation in june you party hard. There is at least three a week. I was underaged at that time so I didn't go to as many as I wanted to - but still. Nothing beats it.

From top left and downwards:
Sporty Spice at What did you want to be when you were a kid?, Black and White theme, An Oscars statuette at my own Hollywood themed grad party (which I was thrown out of for being underaged...) Cruella De Vil and toastmaster at Good vs. Bad, Masquerade theme and finally this years only grad party that I attended ROCK BASH.

Germans are the sexgods of the world! (er no, not really...)

Anyone who read the Femail part of the Daily Mail today cannot possibly have missed the Best vs. Worst Lovers In The World poll.

The men of Germany were crowned the worst, but who's surprised? Just imagine - "Jaaaa, Ich komme gern!" Any woman would loose her erection...
Just as I was giggling about this a bomb was dropped on my scandinavian heart. Swedish men are third worst sexbeasts in the world. According to the poll, my fellow countrymen are too quick. I hope that this will not affect how the world sees Swedish women because that would be devastating for Swedish tourism.
The funny upside?
English men are second worst...

And when it comes to the top ones: Spain? Brazil? ITALY? (does the image of Silvio Berlusconi pop in to anyone elses head? Just ewww...) The biggest laughing matter is France at number four. "Voulez-vous ma baguette?" - I don't think so. I'd rather stick with my english ones (preferably Danny Jones) if that's ok.

Congratulations though, to my dear friend Adam. South Africans are appearently the 6th best lovers in the world. Or more appropriately: congrats to my Josie, his girlfriend...

Scandilous here...

... your one and only source to the scandalous lives of Kent Uni's Elite.
(because a little bit of gossip never hurt no one. Except Kerry Katona)

One of my newfound friends is a young man we shall call B. Fortunately I was let in on one of B's adventures from last week and to portrait true freshers life at Liberty Quays his story is now going on Scandilous Life. It kind of fits...
B is out and about - Coopers(the student pub) style. B sees girl. Girl sees B. B and girl feel instant attraction probably intensed by the "2poundapint" service. Girl takes B home. She sits him down and drops the bomb. She's got a boyfriend and she's not a cheater. B is puzzled for a minute, damns his luck until she says something along the lines of 'Hold on, I am just going to make a phone call'. Girl breaks up with boyfriend over phone. Girl and B engage in sexual intercourse 'til early morning.
And the unofficial Liberty Quays stud-awards goes to...

Welcome to University life

You know you love me,
xoxo Scandilous

Good morning little bunnies

You know when you wake up in the morning with your phone droolglued to your cheek, your underwear dangling off the deskchair, a half-empty plate of pasta and ketchup on your nightstand, mascara rubbed in your face, black feet from taking off your high heels on the way home and a growing sensation that you and your stomach wont agree today?

Really? No? Ok then...

England - the country where your teenage sister and grannie gives birth at the same time!

I had a very interesting conversation during our Freshers Dinner last night, one of many I have to say, with the wife of one of my lecturers. I believe it started with a comment from my part (there was free wine, details are obviously either a bit fuzzy around the edges or simply gone) about all these pregnant young girls in Britain. We might have been talking about Chatham which sounds rather believable to be fair. But anyway...

She told me that the average age in the UK to give birth to your first child is 29. I was a bit surprised. As an ignorant foreigner I have always seen England as the country where teen girls have babies and that is a very common understanding, at least in Sweden. What about all these 17 yearolds pushing baby buggies at the local ASDA? Are they just a figure of my imagination?
After a bit of research I discovered that women giving birth to their first child in the UK are the second oldest in the world, only triumphed by the Kiwi girls. Even the Swedes are behind barely at 28. The UK are 12th in the world in teenage births, however the only western countries beating them are the US and, very oddly, New Zealand.

This got me thinking. How is it possible to have pretty much both the oldest women and the youngest women giving birth to their first child in the western world? Does that mean that there are also grandmas all over England giving birth to their first child? Because I don't know how the maths would work out otherwise.

Stats taken from Nationmaster.com

New favourite Simpsons quote

Alberto: "First we make love, then we decide if it was a good idea or not. That's the European way."

Leaving

Last night's leaving do in Spitalfields B@1 seemed to have been highly successful for everyone involved. My team were the first to leave and I think we tumbled out of there around five in the morning. As we got on the bus back to Clapham J, people were going to work. Messy was just the forename.

After a few hours of not even attempting to get out of bed, a pizza breakfast/lunch/dinner, Harry Potter at the IMAX and a late night kebab I have now packed all my life together. A couple of IKEA bags, two suitcases and a guitar case. My room is a bit emptier and a little bit tidier than usual. Im gonna miss my room so today, apart from being a day of recovery, has a touch of sadness to it. Im probably gonna miss my room even more when I move in to the cupboard sized room down in Kent.

A delicious topic in the the middle of dinner

Tonight I learned about "musting". It all comes down to a pair of lips and a... well an arsehole. Put those two together and then suck. Suck until it gets "musty". Yes, it is just as disgusting as it sounds. However according to a college of my best friends': "It doesn't taste as much of ass as you would expect!"
Musting anyone?



It's been a long time since I laughed so much and we talked about everything and nothing until early morning.

If you want them to know it - WEAR IT

Just got an email from the lovely streetshirts.co.uk. My order has dispatched! Soon two very sexy tops, designed by myself of course, will arrive in Clapham Junction. They will be waiting for me when I get back to England. They are ravishingly sexy.

Its all about making yourself known. I'll be wearing them all week for Freshers.