BYE!

The blogowner (well technically Google owns my blog, but still) is going away.
A short stint in London to see my family and then Prague til Monday.

So unless I find a computer and have the time(and frankly can be arsed) there will be no blogging for a few days.

I'll be back on Tuesday.

Peace, Love and Jägermeister.

Al-Qaida planning to attack Denmark and Danish Newspaper

Two men from Chicago are accused of planning to attack Denmark on behalf of the Al-Qaida

The plan was called "Project Mickey Mouse" and their target was the newspaper The Jylland Post who famously posted a satirical cartoon of Muhammed in 2005. They were going to attack the newspaper with bombs and we're hoping to get to the editor who authorised the publication of the cartoon and multiple times publicly defended his decision.

What I am thinking is - If Al-Qaida are so eager to punish those whom they believe act against Islam, why don't they do us all a favour and start looking for a guy that actually hates the religion that they claim to be defending. Nick Griffin can't be that hard to find. Maybe they can call this plan "Quasimodo". They'll know exactly who they're looking for when they see him.

Very homesick

I used to be a little girl stuck in Sweden dreaming of the big world out there. One day I was going to get there. At eighteen I moved to London. Dream come true.
Now I am stuck in a broom cupboard in Gillingham, looking out my window at the faint lights of Pier Road, wishing exactly the same thing. One day, I am going to get out of here. Hopefully soon enough.
I am now paying 400 a month for my little nest with about 24 a week travelling to and fro London, A monthly travelcard to London is £284. If I find a room in London for £ 200 my life is sorted.
Any offers?

Buried six feet deep in excrements

I am so, so, so deep in the poo.
My parents are visiting from Sweden this week arriving on Wednesday. I usually finish by 12 and can run to the train station asap. On Wednesday the editor of the Independent is coming to speak to us.
Mummy, Daddy and Little Sis I love you so much, but there is no way in hell that I am giving that up. It's like an Essex girl meeting Katie Price.
That is Poo no 1. Poo no 2:
On Friday, when I also normally finish at 12, I have Radio News Day. My team of 8 people needs to produce a half hour news bulletin. Last year they were in the newsroom til six in the evening.

I kid you not - there is a tobacco pouch, a packet of Cadbury's KOKO and a bottle of Tequila with my name on them.

Aaaw, poor Nickyboy

Nick Griffin, leader of the BNP for the uninformed, is going to file an official complaint to the BBC following his treatment at this Thursday's Question time. He feels he was a victim of a lynch mob. And the little boy went crying all the way home to Auntie Beeb. The fact that it might upset a large part of the population that he is an antisemitic homo- and islamophobic racist clearly came as a surprise for him...

This coming from a man who on his first date with his wife gave her a BNP audiotape with the title 'Islam: A threat to us all'.
He's such a charmer.

LIVE COMMENT ON NICK GRIFFIN ON QUESTION TIME:

"I do not believe in the teaching of homosexuality to primary school children "
I don't know what you call them over here but in Sweden we call them wankers.
He also does not believe in any form of sexual information to primary school children
Nick Griffin, you live in a country where 13-year olds have babies. Enough said.

To be honest, Nick Griffin, I don't believe in the teaching of you to primary school kids. I'd just show them your picture and tell them to run from the Boogeyman...

LibQ, darling - Im sorry, it's not me, it's you...

It had to come to this...
I want out.

Don't get me wrong. I love university and all that jazz but,

pardon my french,

LIBERTY QUAYS SUCKS MARSUPIAL TESTICLES

Let's set aside the fact that the internet isn't reliable, that we sometimes do not have hot water, that there is no connection with the outer world in the form of proper buses, AND that I pay 400 £ a month to live in a sodding broom cupboard -my biggest problem is as follows:

I have been living on my own for a year now. I am used to having a flat belongs to me and the others who live in it - under the conditions of renting of course. My room is my room and my kitchen is definitely my kitchen (I would add that my living room is my living room - but I don't have one!). Liberty Quays clearly has another view.

They do come in to check our kitchen - fine by me to be honest, because they have let us know beforehand.

No, that's not it.
What royally pisses me off is that they see it fit to simply walk through our door as often as they like. Yesterday afternoon I found two men in my corridor. They clearly heard me walk out from my room on my way to the kitchen but still they didn't even look up or recognise the fact that one of the tenants was there and that maybe they ought to say hi.
Not only have they entered my flat without warning - they do not even respect me enough to greet me or explain WHAT THE BLOODY HELL THEY'RE DOING IN MY FLAT!

I want out. Now.

If I have to stay here til the end of summer term, I might hang myself from one of the lamps without shades.

giggles and "tihi"s

Boys and girls who have not yet seen the light.

Let me introduce you...

Em Cartoons - there can be only one.

Previously seen in the londonpaper and now in The Sun

Scandilous is agony aunting

I am, by the way, so ill it's not even funny but there is no way I am staying home from school one more day. I missed one day and I felt totally handicapped today. Grumpy moan.
Everyone else is at the student pub guzzling snakebites(vile, vile invention) and I'm getting drunk from pouring Benylin down my throat. It's actually 6% so with my speed I shall be in a state of euphoria within thirty minutes.

I think I've actually cracked a rib from coughing.

Did you know...

... that swedish is the only language in the world that actually has a word for "not too little but not too much, just kind of like in the middle, lukewarmishly state, not too good - but not too bad"?
You know when someone is cutting cake and they ask you how much you want and you try to describe that you want it not too big, but not too small - just perfect for you right now.

Well, go to Sweden - we have a word for it.

And Sweden is truly the country of that word. The little country of "just a little bit but not too much, thank you my dear"

Don't fail, but Godforbid you succeed! Do you think you are better than the rest of us or something? Well I tell you my dear citizen you are not! I'm sorry, are you actually making money? AND YOU WANT TO KEEP IT?! I have never heard anything so outrageous! Why can't you be just like the rest of us: in a constant lukewarmishly state - not quite happy but not exactly sad. Not even half of your lifes goals achieved, but proud to have done at least one!

And people ask me why I moved to England...

Why Indy, WHY?!

I love the Independent. A true, beautiful and everlasting love that only exists between a complete geek and her favourite newspaper. But today I am disappointed.

Ten Best: Scotch Whisky's and Ardbeg is not on there.

Disappointment.

( And Talisker 10 on the top spot? They didn't even put a single Bowmore on there! They've clearly never had the 25 one...)

Is the Swedish church amazing? Does the pope wear a funny hat?

Finally something to be proud of! Good on ya Motherland!
This tuesday the politicians in the Swedish Church council will vote yes for same sex weddings.
I am not religious (like my facebook status says: I believe in London) but I do believe that whatever you want to call him/her: Allah, Jahve, God or JK Rowling he/she will tell you love is a blessing no matter its form.
I am just happy that a gay christian finally is moving towards being equal a straight one in the church's eyes. At least in Sweden.

Welcome to BNP - the party where everyone is - EXACTLY - welcome!

The news that the British National Party will change their membership rules after being threatened by a court order and a big fat lawsuit is hopefully the reason why people are smiling today. Party leader Nick Griffin believes that members of his party will vote for these new rules to apply (everybody is welcome!) because the BNP cannot afford to go to court and risk bankruptcy.
Stephen K Amos comments in todays Independent:
"I would love the opportunity to join the British National Party - and set up a new wing. [...] This removal of the BNP's "whites-only" policy from its constitution - the very backbone of the party - is going to have a devastating effect. "

I am with him. Blacks, asians, mixo's and anyone who is not white, male and lobotomised - lets join BNP and bring it down from the inside. Imagine having the BNP run by a rotund jamaican mama.

"We can't have her represent us - what a heifer!"

Say hi to Filippa Hamilton. She's 23 years old, 5ft7, works as a model and has a BMI of 17. The limit for underweight is 18-18.5 so she's got some work to do - according to any doctor caring for someone's health. However, according to Ralph Lauren whom she has been working for for years she is a chubster.

They recently published this picture:

It is very disturbing and has upset a whole world. It is heavily tampered with - Filippa's head is bigger than her waist.

This is what she normally looks like:

Still skinny, slim and slender, but within reason. But no, no, no not in Ralph Lauren's book. Last week this beautiful pride and joy of Sweden, who pulls a UK size 4, was fired for being too fat.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Or buy a rifle.

The quest for the best continues

The quest for the best continues.
Two articles on the way but thanks to ASDA, NatWest, National Rail and a lack of a good camera they are coming along quite slowly. Big sigh.

Being a vampire, like all writers, I could only observe a conversation earlier today. Two lovely ladies in their late teens accessorised with babies on their hips. One of them(dressed head to toe in pink velour Juicy Couture ripoff) was complaining that she is missing out in life because she has had a child. If we for a moment ignore the fact that 'Well darling, maybe you shouldn't have gotten pregnant at sixteen then' - isn't that always the case?
I was once told something along the lines of 'Kids are funny, they really are - but your life is never the same. You have to give up a lot of things.'
Of course you do, life isn't a win-win situation (yeah hear the wise teenager give lessons about life, pfff...). You always miss out because of your choices in life one way or the other.
Single girls want a boyfriend and whine about the neverending loneliness.
Taken girls whine about not going out as much with their girls anymore and "having fun" (i.e. getting pissed and trying to get laid by someone named Juan-Carlos).
Career women long for children, someone who will always unconditionally love you.
Mums complain about all the things they had to give up for their kids - starting with their bodies.

Gosh we women whine.
I don't know how you men
(and homesexual women, lets be politically correct here)
stand it.

Having said that:
When it comes down to my future self managing both a immensly successful career and three kids (two boys and a girl, I have too many boys' names to only have one of those) - I'm getting a househusband. No need for whinging and whining, just pure perfection.

How to get wet - women vs. men

It seems I need to embrace the woman in me during my morning rituals...

Leave Michael alone Paulie

Paul Anka wrote the new Michael Jackson song - at least that's what he says. Yes, they do sound very alike and I don't find it particularly unlikely that Paul Anka is telling a true story but is this really necessary? That man has enough money as it is. Leave the world of MJ fans to lament around the radios playing this tune and let his kids have the profits. Because this is just selfish.

- Paul Anka's lovely wife Anna has recently gained fame in my homecountry for her performance in the reality show Swedish Hollywoodwives where she has blurted out TV jewels like:

"If your husband wants you to suck him off every morning than you should do that. Otherwise it's your own fault if he looks elsewhere."

"Here [in the US] you don't get mums nagging their daughters to get educated and go to college but telling them to find a sports guy or a celebrity. Isn't it wonderful!?"

"Here [again in the US] it is the men who takes care of all the economics, anything else is an insult to both the man and the woman in a relationship."

Maybe he's doing this out of jealousy?

Reborn

Working on a new article plus commentary with the work name "Please don't be an international one" is like a constant brick in my head. Right now, I am down to zero inspiration. I even bought my fave choccie sea shells - and when they don't work, nothing works.


However! On to more positive news:


The lack of updating this weekend was all down to my three day stint in London. Back to work (walking out with three new job prospects bartending and waitressing - very exciting) running around in Soho sorting out my blood's Jäger levels. I came back a new person (dispite the slight nausea and a hint of a headache). I needed this.

Chinese media: The Swedish woods hides 25000 homosexual women!

Swedish newspaper Aftonbladet reports that Chinese media are running around in the north of Sweden combing through the woods. Why?

They are looking for Chako Paul City. The city of 25000 lesbians.

According to Chinese media there is a city hidden away in the Swedish woods way up north with a population of 25 000 gay women.
This origins from the story of Chinese student Niu Xiaoyu, studying in Sweden, who in september this year had a bit of domestic trouble and fled to this city of homosexual women. This was where her boyfriend eventually found her - and told the media.
This could certainly raise tourism up north in Santa's woods, however men looking forward to seeing women running around in underwear having pillowfights and making out (because oh yes, that's what we do when boys aren't around) shouldn't bother. Apparently the city is guarded by female police "beats any man who dares to enter half to death". (How did the boyfriend get to her? He dressed up as a woman!)
The most fascinating thing about this lovely but unlikely story is that Chinese media clearly have no idea how minute Sweden actually is and how few as chosen to live in the north. A city of 25 000 would be one of the biggest cities in the northern half of Sweden and clearly impossible to hide. No matter how deep in the woods you went...

WE HAVE THE LATEST ON TRANNY FIGHTS!

Are there idiots everywhere now?

Please do read and watch the wannabe gangstas attacking cross dressing men who turned out to be cage fighters in Swansea. It's hilarious.
Funny thing - same story happened in Soho yesterday.
Reliable sources have confirmed that the brawl in Soho was three guys who were, in the words of KidBritish, lost in London and coming across a six foot five tranny and his/her friend (at about 6 ft 4)on a Soho street. They started to shout abuse at the two transvestites and surprise - they turned around and started shouting back. Seeing this my friend out on a ciggiebreak started to film just as one of the guys gets a bit too close and transvestite number one headbutts him.
Whether the fighting ladyboys in Soho were cagefighters or not - I cannot say. But they do seem to be able to take care of themselves.
And when it comes to moronic prejudice idiots - are they multiplying?

Ditch the stemmed glass, Dave

Biggest worry of the day, says Daily Mirror: David Cameron having a glass of bubbly! (ongoing wars and children dying in the rubbles of their school in Pandang, Indonesia anyone?)

Why on earth can't the man have some champagne?

Is it because he doesn't drink it out of plastic cups like they do in Labour?

Dear Channel 4 News

What have I ever done to upset you?

I need my news! My eyes are hurting from staring at this screen and I would love some moving pictures and audio instead of text, text, text.

Why wont you give it to me?

Dearly beloved Channel 4 News Homepage - why won't you work?!

Welcome home almost naked men!

It is finally up where it belongs!
My student room is now complete.
However something tells me that my boyfriend won't appreciate this quite as much as I do...

Dear Mr Letterman.

My darling Dave, if you are dumb enough to dip your schlong in the company paddlingpool, daft enough to get caught, rather brilliant to admit it on TV do not go on to be so completely divorced from reality that you try to apologise to your wife ON YOUR SHOW. Chances that you will have the same relationship to her as you have with reality will increse, believe me.

Again surprised by the 50% of the population without tits

I love men. Men are special, wonderful creatures whom God created and then thought "Created in my image my ass! It doesn't look like me at all - it doesn't even have boobs! Ok, I'll have one more go." Men provides straight women and homosexual men with everything in life; happiness, adventure, sex, big grandpa-shirts, gossip, stressfrowns, tears, naked sundays(obviously including fry ups), Danny Jones and a reason to buy sexy lingerie.

But sometimes they simply amaze me...
Man/Boy: What are you eating?
Me: Dorritos. Im sad, fat and I have PMS.
Man/Boy: Well, if you wanna loose weight, Dorritos isn't exactly the best option, is it? Its really unhealthy, let me see how many calories *grabs bag* WOW, that's a lot! Thats like more than...
Me: *interrupting* You've never been around a girl with PMS before, have you?
Man/Boy: No.

If you are lucky you end up insanely madly in love, but honestly - you are more likely to end up with ugly stretchmarks and a mortgage for a house you no longer live in.

Oh yes, it is for real

Voxpops today in P&P. Minor sucess running around in the rain asking people which celebrity they would like to kill. Not very surprising results, over 50% said Katie Price/Jordan. Hilarousity came much later when I heard what happened when the lovely James Averill and Alex Dack asked around Medway Campus.
James: Who would you like to punch most in the world? *sticking recorder in Victim's face*
Victim: George Bush.
James: Which one, Junior or Senior?
Victim: The one that was President.

Intelligence lives and prospers at Medway Campus universities.

There is only one place to graduate

Scanning my computer for the picture in the last post made all the graduation memories come back. The swedish graduation parties are unbelievable - at least in Stockholm and at Rudbecks Gymnasium(yes, still funny). From the beginning of april all the way to graduation in june you party hard. There is at least three a week. I was underaged at that time so I didn't go to as many as I wanted to - but still. Nothing beats it.

From top left and downwards:
Sporty Spice at What did you want to be when you were a kid?, Black and White theme, An Oscars statuette at my own Hollywood themed grad party (which I was thrown out of for being underaged...) Cruella De Vil and toastmaster at Good vs. Bad, Masquerade theme and finally this years only grad party that I attended ROCK BASH.

I went to naked school

The word gymnasium derives from the Greek word gymnazein which means "to exercise naked."
Where did I go to school?

RUDBECKS GYMNASIUM!

btw, this is how we celebrate our graduation day in Sweden. 40 kids in the back of a truck, pumping music and beer, cider and cheap champagne flying everywhere.

Cheers lovely!

Big thanks to the guy who threw a bottle of sick in my face tonight.

You want to know how I definitely know it was sick?

I wiped the last of it off in the elevator mirror five minutes ago.

Gross?

Welcome to uni!

(apart from that the night was stellar)

Scandilous Life over and out.

Eminem is the worlds greatest WHAT now?

I was watching T4 this morning and was offered a whole hour of Peter Andre trying to convince me that Eminem is the greatest popstar in the world.
1. The worlds greatest popstar? Pop? Is that really how you would categorise what Eminem does?
2. Considering Peter Andre's recent success in the music business he is not exactly the guy I would listen to for music advise

3. Peter Andre: Seriously? You pick Eminem over the likes of Michael Jackson and Madonna? Did you go through the lobotomy before or after you divorced Katie Price?

Raising awareness of OCO or Why doesnt anyone see the sick chubbies? Part 2

It wasnt until after I had beaten it that I realised I had an eating disorder. I had never heard of "reversed anorexia" also known as OCO (obsessive compulsive overeating) and didn't know what it was.
I found a very good description on wikipedia ( wouldn't you know!) from a 2008 medical article:
"People that struggle with binge eating are likely to have alcohol problems and engage in impulsive behavior, such as not thinking before acting out. They do not feel that they can control themselves, are typically not close with their community, and have difficulty discussing their problems and feelings. They also have more health problems, a hard time sleeping at night, joint pain, muscle pains, menstrual problems, and headaches. Affected people often have suicidal thoughts, struggle digesting their food, and are stressed. People that have a binge eating disorder are usually ashamed and become very good at hiding the fact that they have it. They become so good at hiding that most people around them, including close friends and family members, do not even know about their disorder."
Once upon a time that was me.

It took years to finally beat the eating disorder and have a healthy relationship to food, which I still don't to one hundred percent and probably never will. I have gone from chub to skinny(my wake up call was when I refused milk because it was "too fat") to work out addict to skinny and to normal. Nowadays I am still quite soft around the edges and just like any average 19-yearold girl - if something goes tits up I reach for the Ben&Jerry's tub, but who doesn't?

I went home to Sweden just before I started university, just a few weeks ago. By order of my loving mother I started to go through my desk drawers which had not been touched for years and definitely not emptied. I started with the bottom drawer and there underneath an old Friends VHS I found a wrapper from an After Eight mint. A 13 year old girl had left me a message. This:
OCO is an eating disorder and yes, it does exist. It is one of the most common mental disorders in the world, fighting with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) for the top spot. During my years on school no one ever talked about it (I eventually I stumbled upon it myself) or knew what it was. I was taught how to see the signs of bulimia in a friend and what anorexia does to the body but no one ever talked about "that other kind". We were told to open our eyes and discover bulimia, see anorexia.
But tell me, who sees the sick chubbies?

No, not every fat kid is sick, just like not every really skinny one has anorexia. BUT...
Please keep tuned, this is not the end of the story.
Raise Awareness of OCO.

Obese? Blame the crossword page!

I love Daily Mail. I don't know how they find all these random researches that they publish like it's the cure for aids. The latest one?
Crosswords and sudoku makes you fat!
Appearently you exercise your brain so much that when you are finished your body is so tired that it cannot do any physical exercise.
Hil-Ar-I-Ous

Raising awareness of OCO or Why doesnt anyone see the sick chubbies? Part 1

I had a very long discussion with a friend about eating disorders. We are all familiar with anorexia, most people today know someone who has had it. At every school there is at least one girl or boy who sits in a corner hiding a skeletal body underneath layers of clothes. Sitting at the table with an empty plate watching others munch away, obsessed with food but never eating. There is no doubt that this person is sick. Then what about the one next to the skinny minnie? The slightly fat girl who has got her bag full of sweets and always, always has something sugar covered in her locker, would you call her sick?

I used to be that girl.
I have lived with an eating disorder.
The other kind.

Just like an anorexic I lied to my parents about what I ate. It was just the other way around. I bought armfuls of chocolate and bags of pick-and-mix and hid them in my room so that my parents wouldn't know. I had huge portions of noodles as an afternoon snack and I was a regular at the school cafeteria.
Sounds like the average sad tragic fat girl?
I couldn't stop. I cried and ate and ate and cried. I hated myself and my body and to make it all better I ate a bit more. I was spiralling down towards a depression wanting to punish myself even worse. A few guessed something wasn't completely right, but no one knew how to handle it. When my parents told me to stop eating I ate more and by the end of 2004 I started to show signs of what I realised later was bulimia. I was sick.

Photo: The Sun

Don't feed the children

More than one news-crew posted the discoveries of a Cardiff University study yesterday. The study showed that there is a link between youngsters habits of eating choccies and sweets and adult aggression. Kids who eat sugary things every day are more likely to become agressive as they grow up.
Chocolate = aggression.

Im sorry, but have they ever met a 14-yearold on PMS? It is either 'save yourselves one and all' or chocolate. Or was that just me?